Sunday, May 26, 2013

Post graduate realities

This article is well overdue to be written. I along with scores of my friends graduated from the undergraduate cul-de sac a while ago. I remembered how proud friends of mine were, and to be honest how proud I was. When I first entered undergraduate school I came with the notion that I was going to change the world. I was fired up, my heart had only been dented and not completely broken, my viewpoints stemmed from that. I was idealistic. I remembered the first day I walked onto the campus of my HBCU (Historically Black College & University). I had clothes that had been sewn, a few new outfits, and a slew of used items. But I was happy because the steps on that campus signified a new life, and a change of some sort. Little did I know the change that was going to occur.

I had to sit and re-evaluate who the hell I was and what the hell I was doing recently. I had to evaluate my realities and who I had become. I’d been fighting so hard not to be labeled, to fight against injustice, racism, sexism, classism, and all other -isms known to (wo)man. Little did I know that upon graduation and upon the attempts to complete my Masters degree that I had become so far removed from the woman I wanted to be all those years ago. I’d lost myself in trying to find myself. The realities of post-graduation! Someone should have warned me...someone should have warned all of my friends...and all of my classmates. Someone should of warned us that when we graduated some of us would graduate during a time when America was on the brink of a recession, that some of us would graduate with degrees that merited $10.00- $15.00 an hour. Someone should have warned us that Sallie Mae would want our kidneys once we finished, and that their harassing phone calls would be frequent. Someone should have warned us that getting a degree didn’t mean that we’d be happy, rich, semi-rich, above working poor or any notions such as that. Some of us have had to go back to homes in which we are seemingly strangers to those who knew us prior to the four or more years we’d spent in that college cul-de-sac. Someone should have warned us that in the competitive job realm employers are looking for those who are experienced. Those of us who are experienced lack education often times and those of us who are educated lack the necessary experience.

I look back on the person that I was prior to college. I was fierce, unafraid, slightly cocky, and ready to face any challenges that the world set before me. I knew that I wanted to earn a PhD and that I wanted to be some phenomenal woman that changed the dynamic of the world. I loved passionately, and I lived just as passionately. But in the aftermath of knowledge, life, heartbreak, today's economy, and in the adjustment that have followed I simply say, someone should have warned all of us!

I miss life pre-graduation, but I know that none of us can dwell there. I miss still believing that I can change the world, I miss that feeling. I’m hoping that my next post graduate reality will be that I gained that feeling back.


Post a Comment